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”Lexus LS400A woman bought a new Lexus LS 400. She returned it to the dealer the next day, complaining that she couldn’t figure out how the radio worked. The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.“Watch this!” he said... “Nelson!”The radio replied, “Ricky or Willie?”“Willie!” he continued, and “On The Road Again” came from the speakers.The woman drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time she’d say, “Beethoven”, she’d get beautiful classical music, and if she said, “Beatles!” she’d get one of their awesome songs.One day, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed her new car, but she swerved in time to avoid them.“ASSHOLES!” she yelled... The French National Anthem began to play.Subject: Low oil?Now why didn’t I think of this before now?????A lot of folks can’t understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in America.Well, there’s a very simple answer.Nobody bothered to check the oil.We just didn’t know we were getting low.The reason for that is. There stood my mom. She asked if things were alright? I nodded and turned to make sure all my tools were put where they belong. Uncle Steve had went in the house to shower. I gave mom a hug and thanked her again for the party.When I got to my room, Uncle Steve was sitting on my bed with nothing but a towel. He stood to give me a hug. I love the way he smells, when he holds me close. "MMMM you smell so good, Uncle Steve. Did you find my brother's body wash?" Uncle Steve pulled me closer and said, he smells of good sex, then patted my ass. I gathered a thong and a cute bra, that would look Hot under my new top, then headed for the shower.Everyone was waiting for me to come down to head out for the restaurant. After dinner, my dad had to take a call from his work, and mom took off somewhere. My brother asked if he could go to his friends house for the night. Mom nodded and listened to my dad talk. My dad got off the phone and said he has to go in early tomorrow.
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